Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a Mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right aw... Read More

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You gotta love this one even if you've never lived in the South.

Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R

Saudi Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised."

Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711 --You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. -Allah is Great."

Pa... Read More

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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Shannon,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forc... Read More

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ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 - CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man
opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another
seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man
seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, she had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
what he had to say for... Read More

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George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline......




Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas Americans use.....



The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down.....



Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border....When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to... Read More

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