"He's a reeeally nice guy, funny, considerate, a real sweetheart. I don't know what it is, but I'm just not turned on by him."
Sound familiar?
Why go for funny, sweet, considerate when we can go for indifferent, self-centred and manipulative? So much sexier.
Why do women love bad boys? Why is the sky blue? Some women say it's about the challenge and the excitement. Nice guys are too predictable. We want to love them, but the good girl in us wants to rebel. And since society doesn't like bad girls, we let bad boys bring out the rebel in us.
Most of us get over it.
But, given the number of guys I hear from who tell me they've spent one too many days in I-like-you-as-a-friend purgatory, some of us take longer than others. "Do I have to be a jerk to get women to sleep with me?" these guys ask me. I figure they deserve an answer. Especially being such nice guys and all.
But see, but this is the problem with a lot of nice guys. They're too nice. They're so worried about what we think, their own personalities disappear in the process.
I get a little uncomfortable with a guy who is willing to do anything for me, especially if it means constantly sacrificing his own needs.
We all like to be catered to, but there's got to be a line where we end and he starts. If we don't see that line, it's very hard to respect a guy and believe he likes himself enough for us to like him.
There are reasons some women like to date boys more than girls (and not all of them have to do with sex). Believe it or not, there are a few male qualities we women quite like. For one, we are quite fond (and possibly even a little jealous) of the strong sense of self so many boys are taught to develop. We just hate it when it gets out of hand and he becomes an egotistical, self-centered boob. Unfortunately, we sometimes get sucked in.
Being nice does not mean being a doormat. Being sensitive means being flexible, but it doesn't mean he has to be putty in our hands. It means being able to stand up for who he is without being a jerk about it. Why is that so hard?
Maybe because it's a lot easier to whine about how nice guys don't get laid.
