I had a discussion at work with a guy involved in a cyber sex relationship. In other words, he has a GF online that plays make believe sex stories with him. He wanted to know how I felt about it, and whether or not this was cheating. He has not told his wife about this, and is not sure he would. He has no plans to meet this cyber-mate. He just enjoys the story making and whatnot. I told him as long as there was no physical contact, no money exchanges, nudity on webcam, that I had no qualms with it. Just wanted to get other opinions on this. Anyone?

I'm sure the guy's wife would have an entirely different opinion about the situation  LOL.

Slippery slope. Who knows where this may eventually lead.

It's considered to be an "emotional affair". Just as bad (if not worse) than an old-fashioned physical afffair. Most chicks hate this type of affair.

To put this in perspective, he should ask himself how would he feel about it if his wife was having cybersex with another man online. Probably not too good about himself, eh (unless he's into "open marriages").

But if he needs emotional/mental gratification online, perhaps this is a symptom of underlying marriage problems.

Whatever floats his boat, but he's playing with fire. Fires tend to sink boats.

JMHO

actually there s nothing wrong there  some ppl d do it  i  believe he should inform his wife  like give her hints how  she d feel if he was doing cybersex see  if she objects to it  how would she feel if she found out he was doing that  what would happen   hiding from the other partner is not my idea of a good realationship  id prefer to  hear it from my partner rather than finding out  from someone or somewhere on the  internet all those things can be saved if he didnt  request it

as for me  not informing his partner i consider that cheating really   why does he need to do this   doesnt he get enuff from her   i understand men love that sweet talking on the internet  those gals  some men too  are so smooth talking they can make u horny yeah i know   everyone has different opinions of it

actually its up to  husband and wife  if they dont mind then do it  if not  then dont do it 

id feel guilty  if i dont get  it off my chest   hide from my  partner  

 for some ppl they dont like  masterbating alone so  need someone to  make them come  maybe wife or hubby wasnt in mood for  sex  so thats a good way to do it  but  best thing is being honest with each other  thats my opinion 

lets get more inputs here  lolz

Interesting points. Lets say the wife has no interest in sex. She has a medical condition that makes her libido drop to zero, or makes sex impossible for her to enjoy. Or she just is not sexual, but the couple are madly in love otherwise. Would this change anyone's thinking? Hoping for more replies....*tapping foot*

It's cheating regardless how you imply your wife's permission. If your wife joins it with you and enjoy the adventure, then it's not cheating. Most women felt rejected but letting you to please your happiness is going to affect a long term relationship. 

If your wife has no interest in sex, then there's a problem with the relationship as a whole. Without sex in this relationship does not bring any happiness in relationship. It's best to go separate ways instead of wasting each other's time.

Hi...

My opinion is that everyone has a right to privacy.

If a man needs to share with someone that he couldn't share with a spouse for any reason, then it is his right. It doesn't mean that he is cheating or loves his wife less. It would be a different story if he agrees to meet the woman in person. I believe that he can keep it private instead of telling his wife everything because if his wife knows, then everything is changed or ruined. He would lose her who he loves every much.

It is the same thing for women, too.

Also it may hurt if the man (or woman) is heavily addicted to cybersex... just like gambling, overeating, smoking, using recreational drugs and so on.

Not good to contact cyber sex EVERY NIGHT,,, Need to communication with relationship more time than cyber sex!

I agree, It's a dicey situation. Having an emotional affair (IMO) is a lot worse than having a physical affair. Both types of affairs can also be disastrous. As the saying goes, Don't play with the fire or otherwise you'll get burnt. (Figuratively speaking)

Anyway, I think the guy should be able to come clean with his wife and lay it all down on the table because in a marriage, they should be able to come to a trust and of course, a major open communication. It may be hard for the guy to come clean with his wife in fear knowing that the wife might not like it but if they both are able to come to terms to be able to discuss everything that comes out of the relationship, then they shall be able to overcome anything that comes their way. When a couple are together in a long term relationship or in a marriage - they are to be loyal to each other and to give each other unconditional attention, all kinds of supports whether it's emotional, mentally and spiritually.

Sure, Some people would say it's not a big deal to engage in a cyber-sex activity because both persons on the opposite end are "faceless", there's no physical intimacy, so and on.  Cyber-sex can be exciting at first but after a while, it gets old. It leaves you with a burning desire to want to have the actual physical intimacy. Cyber-sex is not meant to be everlasting. There's nothing better than getting the actual physcial intimacy with a significant other.

So, With that - If the husband does not wish to engage this issue with his wife, then that is his choice. The longer he holds it back, the sooner the wife may be suspicious and eventually, she will find out about it. When that happens, it won't be a pretty picture. That is why it is best for the husband to come clean with the wife, not only for his sake but for the sake of his wife and the marriage (if he cares about the marriage so much to preserve it).

Just my 2 cents.

I respectfully disagree.

The guy should NOT tell his wife about the cybersex affair but should instead just end it.

Know what they say: "what she doesn't know, won't hurt her". Why rock the boat.

Also they should attend marriage/sex counseling because there is an underlying problem of unmet intimacy needs here. The marriage needs work. Everyone is human.

Then again maybe the wife is into cybering too. Never know. The brain the biggest sex organ. If there is in fact a physical problem, maybe there is a medical solution, or maybe cybering can be an outlet for everyone?

I would be more concerned about the health of the marriage (the affair is probably a symptom). Going behind a spouce's back (on anything) is not the way to live.