A POLISH MAN MOVED TO THE USA AND MARRIED AN AMERICAN GIRL.

ALTHOUGH HIS ENGLISH WAS FAR FROM PERFECT THEY GOT ALONG TOGETHER VERY WELL.

ONE DAY HE RUSHED INTO A LAWYERS OFFICE AND ASKED HIM IF HE COULD ARRANGE A DIVORCE FOR HIM.

THE LAWYER SAID THAT GETTING A DIVORCE WOULD DEPEND ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND THEN ASKED HIM THE FOLLWOING QUESTIONS;

LAWYER: HAVE YOU ANY GROUND?

MAN: YES, AN ACRE AND A HALF AND A NICE LITTLE HOME.

LAWYER: NO, I MEAN WHAT IS THE FOUNDATION OF THIS CASE?

MAN: IT IS MADE OF CONCRETE.

LAWYER: I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. DOES EITHER OF YOU HAVE A REAL GRUDGE?

MAN: NO, WE HAVE CARPORT AND NOT NEED ONE.

LAWYER: I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOUR RELATIONS LIKE?

MAN: ALL MY RELATIONS ARE STILL IN POLAND.

LAWYER: IS THERE ANY INFIDELITY IN YOUR MARRIAGE?

MAN: WE HAVE HIGH FIDELITY STEREO AND GOOD DVD PLAYER.

LAWYER: DOES YOUR WIFE BEAT YOU UP?

MAN: NO, I ALWAYS UP BEFORE HER.

LAWYER: IS YOUR WIFE A NAGGER?

MAN: NO, SHE WHITE.

LAWYER: WHY DO YOU WANT THIS DIVORCE?

MAN: SHE GOING TO KILL ME.

LAWYER: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK LIKE THAT?

MAN: I GOT PROOF.

LAWYER: WHAT KIND OF PROOF?

MAN: SHE GOING TO POISON ME, SHE BUY BOTTLE AT DRUG STORE AND PUT IT ON SHELF IN BATHROOM, I CAN READ AND IT SAY "POLISH REMOVER".

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